Usually when I mention the term “Loving Lawsuits” or “How To Bring a Lawsuit With Love” I get a chuckle from the listener. Recently, a client said to me: “What in the world are you talking about? If I loved the guy, I wouldn’t be suing him! Right?” I went on to explain. “What we’re talking about here is: loving yourself enough to make the right choices for you, to stay in your integrity – to stay on your Soul’s path – not somebody else’s. And, to be accountable and responsible for the circumstances within which you find yourself.”
“LOVE”
My client asked me why I was using the word “love” and whether this idea was “religious” because I used the word “soul”. This is how I answered her.
I use the word “love” because, I believe, this power of love is the greatest force in this universe. Let me tell you what love is NOT. First, the “love” to which I refer IS NOT romantic titillation. And second, “Love” is not (necessarily) soft. Nor does one who “loves” (necessarily) back down or retreat. If I ask you whether you believe Mahatma Ghandi was soft – you’d say “NO” -- Yet, we would all agree that his “love” changed the world and created a free India. There are a multitude of examples of people who have used this powerful force to effect positive change. Ghandi, is one of them.
*Excerpted and adapted from an address at the Center For Conscious Living on July 15, 2001 Loving Lawsuits - Copyright © 2001 Constance Joy Angeles
“SOUL”
The reason I use the word “soul” is because there seems to be power or essence outside the physical life that operates to direct our lives on a path of right action. That is, IF we follow that direction, which we term: following one’s “Soul’s Path”. (Please note the diagram included in this article.) Often, one experiences this powerful inner force as a gut feeling or a “knowing” that is beyond the logic of a situation. This is not a religious concept.
POWERFUL FORCE
There is a powerful force in this universe. And, we can use it. We create our lives through the power of our minds – through our thought processes and belief systems. We act out our consistent mental patterns of thought and achieve our goals or destroy our lives. Often, the manner within which we use this powerful universal force – is through the conflicts, disputes and the seemingly difficult events of living. One of these especially difficult and painful experiences is a dispute that rises to the level of legal combat.
DISPUTES – UNDERLYING CAUSES
In the almost 19 years that I have been practicing law, I have never come across a legal dispute that did NOT have an underlying reason for the problem. All disputes are “effects” of something else. Every dispute from a minor misunderstanding to “all out war” has another cause other than what is apparent. The objective is to identify the real cause of the dispute and dispel it. Then, it is possible to supplant the destructive thoughts or behaviors with higher principles and resolve the legal issue from the inside out.
THE IMPORTANCE OF MOTIVE
As we know, a perpetrator’s motive or intention may be extremely important in dealing with a crime or a tort. Obviously, someone who kills another in self-defense is not the same as someone who premeditates murder, although, both are killers. The motive of the “victim” or “plaintiff” may be equally important in determining how a client should proceed to resolve a legal conflict. One’s intention will create either success or failure.
CATHERINE’S CASE
The following is an actual case illustrating the concept.
Client profile
This week – a client who I have known for many years asked my advice regarding a problem. We’ll call her Catherine. Let me tell you about her. This woman is extremely unique and intelligent. She is a medical doctor who went to medical school when women were rarely admitted. And, what makes her so unique is that she is an extraordinary “healer”. In my opinion, this is a rare combination, as there are very few true healers in the medical profession.
Facts
Catherine loaned money to a man we’ll call Ron. She had known Ron for over 16 years. They had been involved in an intimate relationship in 1985 but were no longer personally involved. Within the last three months, he had been doing some work for her, and during that time she loaned him $2,600. He failed to pay her back and although the loss of the money would not put her into dire financial straits, she was very perplexed about the situation. In reviewing the facts – I found that Ron lied to her, conned her into giving him money by being charming, promising to help her, and playing on her emotions. Basically Ron defrauded Catherine.
Underlying issue
Many people would just “write off” the bad debt of $2,600 on their income tax and forget about it. So why was this so important to Catherine? Because there was an underlying issue that had not been resolved. This was not the first time that this kind of thing had happened. A number of years earlier, she lost over two hundred thousand dollars in a scheme that was perpetrated upon her by another so-called “friend”, another fraud. She let the statute of limitations run, waiting for the “friend” to make good on the loss. The underlying issue is that in all of Catherine’s life – she never asserted herself when someone took advantage of her (except in very minor events).
What’s love got to do with it?
I asked Catherine a question. “Do you love yourself enough to stand up for yourself and pursue what is yours?” She answered: “YES, I do”.
Doorway of opportunity
This altercation between Catherine and Ron became her “doorway” to opportunity. What is that opportunity? First, -- It is NOT punishing, or hurting Ron. The opportunity is Catherine’s way out of a circular pattern of destructive, difficult behavior and the mind-set or outmoded belief system and thought process that is really the underlying cause of Catherine’s pattern of abuse.
Constance Joy Angeles’s Audio CD “Loving Lawsuits” which
contains a guided visualization designed to illuminate true “soul”
solutions with peace, joy and love is available for US$13.95 and $4.95 shipping
and handling in the US.
Send check or money order to:
Constance Joy Angeles 3925 Center Gate Circle, Sarasota, FL 34233.
Send inquiries to e-mail: loveandlawonline@yahoo.com.
Her book “Loving Lawsuits” and workbook “How To Bring A Lawsuit
With Love” will be complete by the end of 2001. She is available for
speaking engagements and workshops.You may contact her at (866) 248.6164 (toll
free)
